The Town That Smelled Like Coconut Shampoo

Bloomberg was not like other towns.

Every shop window gleamed. Every hedge was trimmed into perfect little squares. Even the pigeons looked suspiciously well-groomed.

That's because Bloomberg had more hairdressers per street than anywhere else on earth — or at least, that's what the sign on the highway said. Nobody had checked. Nobody needed to.

Jackie stomped down Maple Row with her black hair swinging past her shoulders, red streaks catching the afternoon light. Her skull earrings bounced. Her shark-tooth necklace clacked. She was grinning her gap-toothed grin at Ollie, who was walking beside her with hair so long it covered his ears, his collar, and most of his face.

"You look like a sheepdog," Jackie said, in her broad Australian accent.

"Thank you," Ollie said proudly.

Ahead, four more kids rounded the corner — Remi, Mike, Jacob, and Carson — all equally shaggy, all equally unbothered.

Nobody noticed the new sign above Sal's Barbershop.

The Sign Nobody Read

The sign above Sal's Barbershop was big, bright yellow, and impossible to miss — unless you were busy arguing about whether sheepdogs were cooler than sharks.

"Sheepdogs can herd things," Ollie said, flipping his curtain of hair out of his face.

"Sharks can bite things," Jackie said flatly.

Remi grabbed Ollie's arm and pointed. "Oi — what's that say?"

The six of them stopped. The sign read:

BLOOMBERG YOUTH HAIRCUT BLITZ — THIS SATURDAY. ALL KIDS REGISTERED BY THEIR PARENTS. NO EXCEPTIONS.

A parrot — a real, green-feathered, orange-beaked parrot — was perched on top of the sign. It ruffled its feathers and squawked: "NO EXCEPTIONS. NO EXCEPTIONS."

"That bird works for them," Carson said slowly.

Then Mike's phone buzzed. Then Jacob's. Then Remi's. Then, horribly, Jackie's.

It was a group text from their parents. Four words:

*Saturday. Sal's. 9am. Confirmed.*

Ollie made a sound like a deflating balloon. Jackie stared at her screen, gap-toothed mouth hanging open.

"They PLANNED this," Remi whispered.