Morning Routines

Super Lesbian Caribou stepped out of her giant walk-in shower, water droplets glistening on her warm brown fur. She wrapped a fluffy towel around herself and padded into the kitchen of her fortress on Lesbos Island.

"Coffee first, then breakfast," she muttered, reaching for her favorite purple mug.

Her hand closed on empty air.

She blinked her big bright eyes and looked again. The mug wasn't there. She checked the dishwasher, the counter, even the refrigerator. Nothing.

"That's weird," she said, scratching behind one of her small antlers.

She grabbed a different mug and started the coffee maker. While it brewed, she opened the pantry for cereal. Her usual box of Cosmic Crunch sat exactly where she'd left it.

The coffee maker beeped. She poured the hot liquid and took a sip.

"At least some things stay put," she chuckled.

But as she turned toward the window to enjoy the morning view of Fairy Tale Land, something felt off about her fortress today.

The Inspector Arrives

Super Lesbian Caribou walked through her fortress, sipping coffee from the unfamiliar mug. The halls seemed quieter than usual. She pushed open the door to her communications room.

Her jaw dropped. The entire control panel was gone. Not broken, not damaged—completely vanished. Only empty mounting brackets remained on the wall where her state-of-the-art equipment had been.

"What in the galaxy?" she muttered.

She rushed to her trophy room. Half the shelves sat bare. Her medals from defeating Doctor Destructo, her crystal from the Ice Planet rescue mission, even her favorite photo with the Space Rangers—all missing.

A sharp knock echoed from the front entrance. Super Lesbian Caribou flew there at super speed, her orange cape fluttering behind her.

A small koala in a blue jumpsuit stood outside, holding a clipboard. Her short gray fur looked neat and professional.

"Excuse me, are you Super Lesbian Caribou?" the koala asked in a crisp voice.

"Yes, that's me."

"I'm Inspector Patches from the Interdimensional Lost Property Bureau. We've received multiple reports about missing items in this sector. May I come in?"